there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize