Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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