Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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