I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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