I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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