I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize