You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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