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i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Randomize
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