please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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