He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
love makes seman taste better
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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