I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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