And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize