Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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