dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize