ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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