i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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