shes about as inviting as chlamydia
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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