I accidentally had phone sex last night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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