I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sext me about skeletons
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize