just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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