I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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