i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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