It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize