I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize