dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize