This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize