I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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