You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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