Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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