Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize