He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fuck appropriateness.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize