doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
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we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
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My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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