I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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