Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize