I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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