walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize