Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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