Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize