Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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