I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize