let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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