I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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