Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
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She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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