So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize