I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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