We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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