We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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