she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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