who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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