im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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